Childhood Summers

I dream of summers passed, of times captured under a orange haze; the smell of roses, perfumed sweet peas. Strawberry splits whilst legs dangle and toes dip in the cool racing river. A garden kingdom for cowboys and red Indians, a climbing frame castle to hide from the 'baddies'. Imaginations fly and set sail on rafts, lost at sea until the soda stream flows. The softness of grass, lush underfoot, the tickle of straw against running legs. A family picnic with bat and ball, bright melamine plates dressed with triangle sandwiches, cups full of cherryade pop. The old dog pants - searching for shade until paddling pool splashes provide a cooling game. Laughter and songs as games are played, cheerful tunes and a screwball surprise. A day on the beach, hours in the sea, car journeys home with fish and chips on knees. Tired to bed with sun-kissed skin and dreams of the adventure that the next day brings

Doing it for the kids - Support Zimele UK

A few years ago, one of my best friends left the UK for 9 months to work in an orphanage in South Africa. I remember her leaving party and how proud I felt of her for doing such an amazing thing – something I didn’t think I could ever be strong enough to do. My friend, who has a medical background worked with children who had been orphaned due to the HIV and AIDS pandemic that is strife across Africa. Many of the children carried the virus and had to be given drugs every day, Peta campaigned for their treatment and drove the children miles to see doctors in a area that was unsafe to be in. During her time there, it was heartbreaking to hear news of not all the children surviving. I admired Peta so much for what she was doing and wrote every month and sent packages for the children – little things like sweets and cartoon plasters, all of which were really appreciated and something new.

I have always wanted to do something like Peta; to do something where I feel I can make a difference, but even my mum tells me I don’t have a strong enough heart to do so. Maybe in a few years when I have a little more wisdom on life and confidence in myself I would like to think I could.

Peta wasn’t the only one who shared this experience and since returning, she has joined three other volunteers who worked in the Kwa Natal communities of South Africa, and set up the UK arm of a charity called Zimele which provides support through projects and skills to the adults and guardians allowing them to look after the children. It is an amazing charity that with little steps and efforts by some very committed people, provides help to those struggling with poverty and who have lost loved ones.Again, wanting to be involved and to help where I can I have become a trustee to provide the marketing support to get the charity off the ground. As with all these things, it takes time and time seems something that gets lost every day. We are all trying to do our bit – from selling the handmade crafts from South Africa at local markets and fair-trade events to writing press releases and arranging fundraising events. Which leads me onto number one of my Things to do before I am 30 list – I have set up my fundraising page and sent it out to all friends and family committing myself to jumping out of a plane at 14,000ft in September. Yikes. I am hoping that I can raise a good amount of sponsorship which will give the projects a great boost and set Zimele UK on the way to being a registered charity (which was another item on my list!)

So, if you are reading this and would like to sponsor me, please go to my fundraising page and donate what you can – even if it is a pound – it makes a difference, and gives me what I need – because believe me, I am going to be shaking like a leaf, with my heart in my mouth as that plan goes up and the doors open.

Thank you ; ) x

Catching up with everything

I feel that I have neglected this blog recently and guilty that I have been spending more time on Twitter. I almost feel unfaithful to my blog – that I haven’t taken time to sit and write about what I have been doing, feeling or post any stories. Being here now feels a little awkward, as though I have done something wrong. But in my justification, I have found some brilliant new blogs and have enjoyed reading other people’s work.

It was through Twitter that Nik Perring asked what questions fellow Twitterers would like to ask authors for a series of interviews he was doing. Intrgrigued as to how authors separate real life and stories, I submitted some questions and low and behold, Nik used them when interviewing Vanessa Gebbie, the author of Words from a Glass Bubble. My questions were based around inspiration which I have been struggling with. I wondered what the most unsual place she had found inspiration as I do find I can be in the most random of places when something triggers - a noise or smell perhaps, but turning that idea into something is another story! I also asked about writing fiction and writing about oneself which she answers with some great advice. You can read his interview here.

Another reason for my lackadaisical approach is that I have been on my HOLIDAYS. I spent a lovely relaxing week in Parga, Greece with Martyn two weeks ago, which was booked with thanks to Emily at My Shitty Twenties. It was an amazing place -so friendly and traditional. I have updated my travel blog - Traveling Upside Down with the story of our litte adventure and included some pictures of the beautiful town.

I am hoping that now that I have had some time off I will be a little more focused and I have promised my blog that I will no longer neglect it. I know that I am going to have lots to say soon as I am hoping to stike off some of my Things to do before I am 30 list.

Stained glass kisses

I sit alone
comfortable in silence
surrounded by time
eyes follow closed lines
a breath remains
outlined by a kiss
stained on glass
no longer in solitude
but in the noise of memories
your song your voice
your words
tell me again
forever stop the silence

Friday feelings

The pink sky soothes

the darkness rumbles

in the distance

the rain washes

dark pavements

the summer smells

of hot rain

it cleanses my mind

washing away

thirty seven hours

ready for the next

Is there someone at the door?

She reads back and she cries. She thinks back to a time and she cries. Tears filled with pain and loss, tears full of hurt.
His voice had once saved her. Tonight, his voice changed, it was different and one that reflected a past.
His past.
She can’t hear him, she can’t understand. Words are just letters, combined and strung together in a pattern with a sound, but they don’t flow, there is no sense.
She is scared. She can hear the devil knocking on his door; she fears the threshold has been broken and that he is running through his veins. Laughing.
A few words and then silence. A sigh, and then a repeat. She wants to say goodbye, tears sting her cheeks. He doesn’t know; he can’t hear her soft sobbing, her short breaths and long pause.
The threat of anger stills her, the calm before the storm, patiently, she waits.
She wants to be strong, she tries to be brave and tell him how much his backward step hurts. A promise once made, she wants to believe, she has to believe.
Where is her friend? Where is her lover? Where is her promise of a changed life?
She wants to be proud. She wants to be happy and certain the past has a closed door.
She waits for an embrace, a kiss, a reassurance
She waits to be brought back to life.

Corners of my home

Whilst taking photos of the many clothes thatI have turned out of my wardrobe to sell on ebay, I got a little camera happy and took some pictures of my favourite things - that make my little victorian terraced house my perfect little den.

My new dress which is so pretty I can't bear to put it in the wardrobe

My rubber plant is called Dave and he lives in a giant tea cup

I am pig obessive. This is Gertrude, she is my fattest pig but by far the cutest.

A corner of my new kitchen with my new tea cosy, handmade by a WI group on the Isle of Wight. My mum knew that I would love it. She was right! Once my perfect kitchen is finished I will share, all I need to find is some vintage jugs, teapots and pretty saucers for my shelves.