Triggers

I wish
I didn't dream
of your life now
and how
you are more alive
without me

I wish
I hadn't given you
so long
to hurt me

I wish
I could heal
the scar
and the bruise
you left
on my intuition

I wish
I could start anew
to look deeply
into fresh blue eyes
with no thought
to lessons
you imprinted

I wish
the trigger
of infidelity
could be
squeezed
for the last time