It was all so much easier when I was younger. There were rules and procedures that were followed; to let you know, them know, yours and their friends know. You knew where you stood, they knew where they stood, it was all exciting and lovely and then someone got 'dumped'.
Yes, I am talking about the world of dating, seeing, going-out and being in a 'relationship'.
What is it all about and why now at nearly 31 years of age do I still not get it? Is it because as we get older there is less drama around dating and we can read the signs more clearly to know if something is right or not (What are those signs again?), so we deal with and I guess process people quicker; that we don't have to ask or is it just because times have changed and everyone does it differently now.
Even my sister who is 16, is in a relationship having dated, seen each other and now 'In a Relationship' It is on Facebook so therefore official.
So what is the difference? in all these stages? Do they exist or are they just excuses to be still playing the field?
Should I be asking these questions or take it for a given that after a couple of months of dating that I am now in a relationship. Do you not have to have 'the talk' where one says "will you go out with me?" and the other, playing it quite cool and calm says "Yes, I would love to"
Even my Nan is proclaiming "well they must know if they are boyfriend and girlfriend", I guess in her day, there was no 'seeing' stage, just a date and then marriage and children.
I think I am going through a 'have to know' phase where usually I am quite chilled and happy to go with the flow. But maybe that is where I have gone wrong, I haven't set the stage and asked what it is. But then isn't that a bit off-putting? A little bit keen? I mean, there has the be the element of 'playing it cool' and girls certainly do their share of that, I think I have played it subzero in the past and then the ice age has happened and everything is frozen.
I am rambling I know. But this is my head right now and I need it to be in a state of serenity.
Am thinking that it is probably not so 'cool' to be asking, but then if they are in the 'seeing' stage and you are in the 'relationship' stage is that not just spelling heartache? And then there starting the conversation, "So... ummm.... I have been thinking.... ummm, yeah are we.. you know....?" Urgh, it is painful thinking about it.
Maybe I could email it.. or ask the question on Facebook? Because that is how the kids do it!
Monday, 27 September 2010
Thursday, 23 September 2010
A new record
I have a favourite quote, well more of a passage really. It is one that I think about most days in one way or another and it is one that I like to pass onto people too.
It is from The Zahir by Paulo Coelho:
“It is so important to let certain things go. To release them. To cut loose. People need to understand that no one is playing with marked cards; sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Don’t expect to get anything back, don’t expect recognition for your efforts, don’t expect your genius to be discovered or your love to be understood. Complete the circle. Not out of pride, inability to arrogance, but simply because whatever it is no longer fits in your life. Close the door, change the record, clean the house, get rid of the dust. Stop being who you were and become who you are.”
I think I have spent two years learning about myself and deciding who I want to be. I truly believe that things happen for reasons (I know I have mentioned this *several* times before!) and that they happen at the right time, when we are ready.
Every hurt or rejection from a past love has happened when it was meant to. Every opportunity has come when I have been best placed to receive it and been able to seize it, whether that has been with work, meeting new people or travelling. I can see it all being part of the bigger picture; I wouldn’t go as far as saying that it is part of fate or destiny because I don’t believe in them. I believe that the choices that we make shape and nurture possibility and opportunity so that we can model our own fate.
‘....fate is half chance.... half choice’ I can’t remember who said that, but I think that choice is more than half. We decide and then we do (or not in some cases) but again that is choice, not hard –luck.
The past five weeks have been significant in me becoming who I am. I now have my own business and I am shaping and developing that to exactly what I want to do. I love it and I know I will never look back. I accept that it is going to be hard, that I will have some very long and down days but the feeling that I have when talking about The Marketing Collective is total passion and belief. I love it. I couldn’t ever imagine working for someone again. I have been set free.
I have been letting go of feelings recently too. Acceptance is a hard thing but put it into the bigger picture and I know it is how it is meant to be... a reason. And if the relationships can continue as friendships then there are plenty of seasons and a whole lifetime to look forward to.
My circle is nearly complete.
It is from The Zahir by Paulo Coelho:
“It is so important to let certain things go. To release them. To cut loose. People need to understand that no one is playing with marked cards; sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Don’t expect to get anything back, don’t expect recognition for your efforts, don’t expect your genius to be discovered or your love to be understood. Complete the circle. Not out of pride, inability to arrogance, but simply because whatever it is no longer fits in your life. Close the door, change the record, clean the house, get rid of the dust. Stop being who you were and become who you are.”
I think I have spent two years learning about myself and deciding who I want to be. I truly believe that things happen for reasons (I know I have mentioned this *several* times before!) and that they happen at the right time, when we are ready.
Every hurt or rejection from a past love has happened when it was meant to. Every opportunity has come when I have been best placed to receive it and been able to seize it, whether that has been with work, meeting new people or travelling. I can see it all being part of the bigger picture; I wouldn’t go as far as saying that it is part of fate or destiny because I don’t believe in them. I believe that the choices that we make shape and nurture possibility and opportunity so that we can model our own fate.
‘....fate is half chance.... half choice’ I can’t remember who said that, but I think that choice is more than half. We decide and then we do (or not in some cases) but again that is choice, not hard –luck.
The past five weeks have been significant in me becoming who I am. I now have my own business and I am shaping and developing that to exactly what I want to do. I love it and I know I will never look back. I accept that it is going to be hard, that I will have some very long and down days but the feeling that I have when talking about The Marketing Collective is total passion and belief. I love it. I couldn’t ever imagine working for someone again. I have been set free.
I have been letting go of feelings recently too. Acceptance is a hard thing but put it into the bigger picture and I know it is how it is meant to be... a reason. And if the relationships can continue as friendships then there are plenty of seasons and a whole lifetime to look forward to.
My circle is nearly complete.
Friday, 17 September 2010
Nothing
'Fireworks' He said.
There has to be fireworks. Or thunder with a spine-chilling display of jagged white lines across a jet black sky.
Nothing. She said.
She didn't know how to. She knew what she wanted to tell him. That there had always been fireworks. The most amazing display of fireworks, the type that explode, dance and flutter in her stomach. The ones that make you feel alive and in love with every moment.
Fireworks she thought.
If only he knew.
There has to be fireworks. Or thunder with a spine-chilling display of jagged white lines across a jet black sky.
Nothing. She said.
She didn't know how to. She knew what she wanted to tell him. That there had always been fireworks. The most amazing display of fireworks, the type that explode, dance and flutter in her stomach. The ones that make you feel alive and in love with every moment.
Fireworks she thought.
If only he knew.
Friday, 3 September 2010
A little early and a slightly demanding letter
Dear Santa,
I know I am a little early in my request, but I could really do with the following people in my life right now. Please can you wrap and deliver them to me as soon as possible (next week would be good) and I promise I will not ask for anything else for Christmas and I will be a very good girl.
Please don’t see this list as me being ungrateful for the friends and people I have in my life, I love them all dearly but they chose careers that although amazing, worthwhile and life fulfilling for them (and I can say I am very proud of them) they can’t do the following: cut my hair, massage, DIY, fix my car, provide legal advice or lend me lots of money.
So on that note, please send: Hairdresser, Beauty therapist, car mechanic, electrician, handy man, personal assistance, solicitor, accountant, IT specialist, database geek, general geek and a team of fairies/pixies/elves (I am not fussy)
If you can make them all good looking guys then even better – I won’t ask for anything next year either.
Thanks Santa
Love JO xx
I know I am a little early in my request, but I could really do with the following people in my life right now. Please can you wrap and deliver them to me as soon as possible (next week would be good) and I promise I will not ask for anything else for Christmas and I will be a very good girl.
Please don’t see this list as me being ungrateful for the friends and people I have in my life, I love them all dearly but they chose careers that although amazing, worthwhile and life fulfilling for them (and I can say I am very proud of them) they can’t do the following: cut my hair, massage, DIY, fix my car, provide legal advice or lend me lots of money.
So on that note, please send: Hairdresser, Beauty therapist, car mechanic, electrician, handy man, personal assistance, solicitor, accountant, IT specialist, database geek, general geek and a team of fairies/pixies/elves (I am not fussy)
If you can make them all good looking guys then even better – I won’t ask for anything next year either.
Thanks Santa
Love JO xx
Wednesday, 25 August 2010
The new venture
It is funny how quickly you can grow up when thrown into a whole new universe of meaning.
For the second time in my 30 years, I have been made redundant. It just so happened to be on Friday 13th August. I have never been superstitious but maybe I will start to be.
So it happened again, but this time I have no job to go to and I don't have the support of a partner to pick up when it all gets too much. What I do have, is something far more exciting, rewarding and a whole group of friends who are there to keep me going and to cheer me along the way.
I have set up my own business, which is something I have been working towards for the past couple of months but I had a plan of doing it gradually and building the business and client base before taking the big leap. Life never works out to a plan though does it?! So, I have been frantically working to get my business set up, to tell as many people as possible and to win as may contracts from the old business. I got made redundant with immediate effect on the Friday and I had the business registered on Saturday night (along with a bottle of Champagne to celebrate!)
Welcome.... The Marketing Collective!
I still have a couple of weeks to go, my branding and website will be done very soon and once I can see my new identity I can start my road of marketing myself and winning business.
I also have some hard negotiating to do with the liquidators to gain some of the brands I worked on and to be fair took with me to the job after my first redundancy.
I am not finding it daunting, a little scary and extremely stressful but I know it will be worth it in years to come. I think maybe I am managing ok because of the help love and support I am getting from friends and family, so, thank you to all who have and are helping me - you know who you are!
Anyway, best get back to it... I have a business to run!
For the second time in my 30 years, I have been made redundant. It just so happened to be on Friday 13th August. I have never been superstitious but maybe I will start to be.
So it happened again, but this time I have no job to go to and I don't have the support of a partner to pick up when it all gets too much. What I do have, is something far more exciting, rewarding and a whole group of friends who are there to keep me going and to cheer me along the way.
I have set up my own business, which is something I have been working towards for the past couple of months but I had a plan of doing it gradually and building the business and client base before taking the big leap. Life never works out to a plan though does it?! So, I have been frantically working to get my business set up, to tell as many people as possible and to win as may contracts from the old business. I got made redundant with immediate effect on the Friday and I had the business registered on Saturday night (along with a bottle of Champagne to celebrate!)
Welcome.... The Marketing Collective!
I still have a couple of weeks to go, my branding and website will be done very soon and once I can see my new identity I can start my road of marketing myself and winning business.
I also have some hard negotiating to do with the liquidators to gain some of the brands I worked on and to be fair took with me to the job after my first redundancy.
I am not finding it daunting, a little scary and extremely stressful but I know it will be worth it in years to come. I think maybe I am managing ok because of the help love and support I am getting from friends and family, so, thank you to all who have and are helping me - you know who you are!
Anyway, best get back to it... I have a business to run!
Sunday, 25 July 2010
Twitter Fail
I have to say, I think I am falling out of love with Twitter.
It feels like a lot of relationships all ending at the same time and I feel a little sad about it, but at the same time, I can’t put my finger on what Twitter is about at the moment.
I have been open about how much Twitter has helped me and I am the first to admit that I have been a little addicted at times, but it has, I believe changed me in a positive way. I have made a number of friends and a few very good friends who I know will be long-term buddies. I have travelled to meet people and at times when I have been lonely on my own, or when I have had a bad day at work, I have been able to get some support and kindness from some lovely people and virtual hugs always work.
So why am I falling out of love with it? Well, I don’t think I like what it is becoming and the avenues it is used for. Sometimes I feel it is a popularity contest, yet as stated by @iamhewhoisiam, ‘It is more about the quality of followers as opposed to quantity’ I can’t agree with this more. Twitter is about dialogue and conversation, about discussion and kindness and not about bullying, as we have seen this week with Keith Chegwin. I missed most of the issues this week around Chegwen but picked up on it from Diary of a Ledgers blog. Cheggers was in the wrong but he didn’t deserve such a response.
Twitter has also made me feel sad recently because of how people air their insecurities and their troubles. I know things are said and photos are posted because of a craving for attention, which is fine but there is no need for them to be so open – people will always respond anyway because they are nice people. I don’t really understand the mentality of it. I just wish they could see they are beautiful people who perhaps need to look at making some changes in their lives to find the complete happiness they deserve.
Then there is the clique. I have noticed over the past few weeks this has got worse. Some people only talking to particular friends which again is fine, but if someone tweets you, whether you follow or not, isn’t it just polite to respond? Or embrace what the point of Twitter is and have conversations with other people as well as the same few. Twitter has been a bit of a lonely space for me and I don’t know why. I don’t think my tweets have changed and I don’t think I have done anything offensive but the interaction just doesn’t seem to be there.
On Wednesday, I had a work meeting about a one of the brands I manage and had to talk about why a game/treasure hunt that I ran through Twitter didn’t quite work. To me it was fun and easy, but with only a few responses, it was decided that Twitter is still too new and people don’t understand it. I found this hard to understand; having been on Twitter for nearly 18 months it makes sense to me and it does work both on a social and business level. But thinking about my friends, they aren’t on it, so maybe it is still new and we haven’t all worked out what it is for.
And maybe that is it. Maybe many of the people I used to tweet a lot with are now busy with their lives, that they no longer understand the need or perhaps just taking a step back to see what happens with it.
Maybe I am just getting busy with life. In any case, Twitter doesn’t seem to be doing for me right now but I know I can’t walk away.
It has power.. I will give it that!
It feels like a lot of relationships all ending at the same time and I feel a little sad about it, but at the same time, I can’t put my finger on what Twitter is about at the moment.
I have been open about how much Twitter has helped me and I am the first to admit that I have been a little addicted at times, but it has, I believe changed me in a positive way. I have made a number of friends and a few very good friends who I know will be long-term buddies. I have travelled to meet people and at times when I have been lonely on my own, or when I have had a bad day at work, I have been able to get some support and kindness from some lovely people and virtual hugs always work.
So why am I falling out of love with it? Well, I don’t think I like what it is becoming and the avenues it is used for. Sometimes I feel it is a popularity contest, yet as stated by @iamhewhoisiam, ‘It is more about the quality of followers as opposed to quantity’ I can’t agree with this more. Twitter is about dialogue and conversation, about discussion and kindness and not about bullying, as we have seen this week with Keith Chegwin. I missed most of the issues this week around Chegwen but picked up on it from Diary of a Ledgers blog. Cheggers was in the wrong but he didn’t deserve such a response.
Twitter has also made me feel sad recently because of how people air their insecurities and their troubles. I know things are said and photos are posted because of a craving for attention, which is fine but there is no need for them to be so open – people will always respond anyway because they are nice people. I don’t really understand the mentality of it. I just wish they could see they are beautiful people who perhaps need to look at making some changes in their lives to find the complete happiness they deserve.
Then there is the clique. I have noticed over the past few weeks this has got worse. Some people only talking to particular friends which again is fine, but if someone tweets you, whether you follow or not, isn’t it just polite to respond? Or embrace what the point of Twitter is and have conversations with other people as well as the same few. Twitter has been a bit of a lonely space for me and I don’t know why. I don’t think my tweets have changed and I don’t think I have done anything offensive but the interaction just doesn’t seem to be there.
On Wednesday, I had a work meeting about a one of the brands I manage and had to talk about why a game/treasure hunt that I ran through Twitter didn’t quite work. To me it was fun and easy, but with only a few responses, it was decided that Twitter is still too new and people don’t understand it. I found this hard to understand; having been on Twitter for nearly 18 months it makes sense to me and it does work both on a social and business level. But thinking about my friends, they aren’t on it, so maybe it is still new and we haven’t all worked out what it is for.
And maybe that is it. Maybe many of the people I used to tweet a lot with are now busy with their lives, that they no longer understand the need or perhaps just taking a step back to see what happens with it.
Maybe I am just getting busy with life. In any case, Twitter doesn’t seem to be doing for me right now but I know I can’t walk away.
It has power.. I will give it that!
Thursday, 15 July 2010
A break in the story
I am a dreamer. And I have to say I do believe. I believe in the happily-ever-after and that good things do come to those that wait. I have to believe in that because, honestly, I have been waiting for some things for a long time, it is better to think that way than complain that life can be so bloody unfair.
I am of the conclusion that I am to sort my career out first before any of the good stuff comes along. That maybe it is my destiny to set up my own business and work for myself before a prince comes and sweeps me off my feet.
So I have been trying to turn my attention to doing that and setting up a marketing business – something small to begin with, but which gives me the freedom to explore that I can see being missed and look at new and very exciting opportunities.
It takes the focus away from something else not working out. Which has been painfully sad and something that hurts at the pit of my stomach. But I will take from it what I can, another lesson – a reason, season or lifetime lesson, which time will only tell.
In the meantime, I do what I do best and that is pick myself up, dust myself off and keep believing that my fairytale story is out there and that all will become good in The End.
I am of the conclusion that I am to sort my career out first before any of the good stuff comes along. That maybe it is my destiny to set up my own business and work for myself before a prince comes and sweeps me off my feet.
So I have been trying to turn my attention to doing that and setting up a marketing business – something small to begin with, but which gives me the freedom to explore that I can see being missed and look at new and very exciting opportunities.
It takes the focus away from something else not working out. Which has been painfully sad and something that hurts at the pit of my stomach. But I will take from it what I can, another lesson – a reason, season or lifetime lesson, which time will only tell.
In the meantime, I do what I do best and that is pick myself up, dust myself off and keep believing that my fairytale story is out there and that all will become good in The End.
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