Monday, 27 September 2010

Pack up your troubles.....

It was all so much easier when I was younger. There were rules and procedures that were followed; to let you know, them know, yours and their friends know. You knew where you stood, they knew where they stood, it was all exciting and lovely and then someone got 'dumped'.

Yes, I am talking about the world of dating, seeing, going-out and being in a 'relationship'.

What is it all about and why now at nearly 31 years of age do I still not get it? Is it because as we get older there is less drama around dating and we can read the signs more clearly to know if something is right or not (What are those signs again?), so we deal with and I guess process people quicker; that we don't have to ask or is it just because times have changed and everyone does it differently now.

Even my sister who is 16, is in a relationship having dated, seen each other and now 'In a Relationship' It is on Facebook so therefore official.

So what is the difference? in all these stages? Do they exist or are they just excuses to be still playing the field?

Should I be asking these questions or take it for a given that after a couple of months of dating that I am now in a relationship. Do you not have to have 'the talk' where one says "will you go out with me?" and the other, playing it quite cool and calm says "Yes, I would love to"

Even my Nan is proclaiming "well they must know if they are boyfriend and girlfriend", I guess in her day, there was no 'seeing' stage, just a date and then marriage and children.

I think I am going through a 'have to know' phase where usually I am quite chilled and happy to go with the flow. But maybe that is where I have gone wrong, I haven't set the stage and asked what it is. But then isn't that a bit off-putting? A little bit keen? I mean, there has the be the element of 'playing it cool' and girls certainly do their share of that, I think I have played it subzero in the past and then the ice age has happened and everything is frozen.

I am rambling I know. But this is my head right now and I need it to be in a state of serenity.

Am thinking that it is probably not so 'cool' to be asking, but then if they are in the 'seeing' stage and you are in the 'relationship' stage is that not just spelling heartache? And then there starting the conversation, "So... ummm.... I have been thinking.... ummm, yeah are we.. you know....?" Urgh, it is painful thinking about it.

Maybe I could email it.. or ask the question on Facebook? Because that is how the kids do it!

Thursday, 23 September 2010

A new record

I have a favourite quote, well more of a passage really. It is one that I think about most days in one way or another and it is one that I like to pass onto people too.

It is from The Zahir by Paulo Coelho:

“It is so important to let certain things go. To release them. To cut loose. People need to understand that no one is playing with marked cards; sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Don’t expect to get anything back, don’t expect recognition for your efforts, don’t expect your genius to be discovered or your love to be understood. Complete the circle. Not out of pride, inability to arrogance, but simply because whatever it is no longer fits in your life. Close the door, change the record, clean the house, get rid of the dust. Stop being who you were and become who you are.”

I think I have spent two years learning about myself and deciding who I want to be. I truly believe that things happen for reasons (I know I have mentioned this *several* times before!) and that they happen at the right time, when we are ready.

Every hurt or rejection from a past love has happened when it was meant to. Every opportunity has come when I have been best placed to receive it and been able to seize it, whether that has been with work, meeting new people or travelling. I can see it all being part of the bigger picture; I wouldn’t go as far as saying that it is part of fate or destiny because I don’t believe in them. I believe that the choices that we make shape and nurture possibility and opportunity so that we can model our own fate.

‘....fate is half chance.... half choice’ I can’t remember who said that, but I think that choice is more than half. We decide and then we do (or not in some cases) but again that is choice, not hard –luck.

The past five weeks have been significant in me becoming who I am. I now have my own business and I am shaping and developing that to exactly what I want to do. I love it and I know I will never look back. I accept that it is going to be hard, that I will have some very long and down days but the feeling that I have when talking about The Marketing Collective is total passion and belief. I love it. I couldn’t ever imagine working for someone again. I have been set free.

I have been letting go of feelings recently too. Acceptance is a hard thing but put it into the bigger picture and I know it is how it is meant to be... a reason. And if the relationships can continue as friendships then there are plenty of seasons and a whole lifetime to look forward to.

My circle is nearly complete.

Friday, 17 September 2010

Nothing

'Fireworks' He said.
There has to be fireworks. Or thunder with a spine-chilling display of jagged white lines across a jet black sky.

Nothing. She said.

She didn't know how to. She knew what she wanted to tell him. That there had always been fireworks. The most amazing display of fireworks, the type that explode, dance and flutter in her stomach. The ones that make you feel alive and in love with every moment.

Fireworks she thought.

If only he knew.

Friday, 3 September 2010

A little early and a slightly demanding letter

Dear Santa,

I know I am a little early in my request, but I could really do with the following people in my life right now. Please can you wrap and deliver them to me as soon as possible (next week would be good) and I promise I will not ask for anything else for Christmas and I will be a very good girl.

Please don’t see this list as me being ungrateful for the friends and people I have in my life, I love them all dearly but they chose careers that although amazing, worthwhile and life fulfilling for them (and I can say I am very proud of them) they can’t do the following: cut my hair, massage, DIY, fix my car, provide legal advice or lend me lots of money.

So on that note, please send: Hairdresser, Beauty therapist, car mechanic, electrician, handy man, personal assistance, solicitor, accountant, IT specialist, database geek, general geek and a team of fairies/pixies/elves (I am not fussy)

If you can make them all good looking guys then even better – I won’t ask for anything next year either.

Thanks Santa
Love JO xx