Monday, 27 September 2010

Pack up your troubles.....

It was all so much easier when I was younger. There were rules and procedures that were followed; to let you know, them know, yours and their friends know. You knew where you stood, they knew where they stood, it was all exciting and lovely and then someone got 'dumped'.

Yes, I am talking about the world of dating, seeing, going-out and being in a 'relationship'.

What is it all about and why now at nearly 31 years of age do I still not get it? Is it because as we get older there is less drama around dating and we can read the signs more clearly to know if something is right or not (What are those signs again?), so we deal with and I guess process people quicker; that we don't have to ask or is it just because times have changed and everyone does it differently now.

Even my sister who is 16, is in a relationship having dated, seen each other and now 'In a Relationship' It is on Facebook so therefore official.

So what is the difference? in all these stages? Do they exist or are they just excuses to be still playing the field?

Should I be asking these questions or take it for a given that after a couple of months of dating that I am now in a relationship. Do you not have to have 'the talk' where one says "will you go out with me?" and the other, playing it quite cool and calm says "Yes, I would love to"

Even my Nan is proclaiming "well they must know if they are boyfriend and girlfriend", I guess in her day, there was no 'seeing' stage, just a date and then marriage and children.

I think I am going through a 'have to know' phase where usually I am quite chilled and happy to go with the flow. But maybe that is where I have gone wrong, I haven't set the stage and asked what it is. But then isn't that a bit off-putting? A little bit keen? I mean, there has the be the element of 'playing it cool' and girls certainly do their share of that, I think I have played it subzero in the past and then the ice age has happened and everything is frozen.

I am rambling I know. But this is my head right now and I need it to be in a state of serenity.

Am thinking that it is probably not so 'cool' to be asking, but then if they are in the 'seeing' stage and you are in the 'relationship' stage is that not just spelling heartache? And then there starting the conversation, "So... ummm.... I have been thinking.... ummm, yeah are we.. you know....?" Urgh, it is painful thinking about it.

Maybe I could email it.. or ask the question on Facebook? Because that is how the kids do it!

4 comments:

.... x hel x .... said...

Hi Jo, how are you? I'm still loving your blog.

I think I did just come out and say it when I was first with Gareth, although we had a little bit of a helping hand in that we had a distance between us, no one is going to travel 120 miles when they aren't your boyfriend. You should just come out and say it, like it's a joke and see what the response is.

x hel x

P.s I'm pregnant! Yay!

Jo said...

Hi Helen, Lovely to hear from you - miss you not being on Twitter!
But YAY! and HUGE congratulations on being pregnant, that is so exciting. When are you due?

I think you need to be my relationship counsellor! :)

And I totally missed a couple of comments from you on previous posts - so sorry! But thank you, the 'being ok in the end and it if isn't, then it isn't the end' has really stuck with me. And, thank you for the little creative award - again I missed that!

xx

.... x hel x .... said...

Ha! I could be a love guru. hardly! ;0)

I'm due on the 18th of March.

x hel x

emily josephine mcphillips said...

oh gosh jo, i understand all of this not knowingness only too well. the whole dating scene is scary, sometimes great, but often scary. i'm trying to put it on a backburner and just enjoy things for me, but then it always creeps back again, because people always seem to ask about what's going on in the whole love life front. it's very pressured. eek! but know you're not alone lady. xx