About Me

Sunday, 29 January 2012


I cried when you were born
I had never cried happy tears
never understood
but when I saw you, happiness took over
You were perfect.

As you grew and your personality revealed
the little girl with the curls
with princess tantrums
all sugar and spice
You became Flossy

Growing up was so much fun
shopping, concerts, sleep-overs and treats
being stuck in the rain and wearing my clothes
Stories, games and secrets
You were my sunshine

A performer at school
You tried everything once
So many concerts and shows
your confidence beaming
You made me so proud

Into teens and so we grow
so many changes, life is unfair
a cycle repeats
and I am always there to hold your hand
You are so strong

And now an adult
Beautiful in every way
confident and and caring
we are as close as they come
You are my sister - and I wouldn't change a thing.

Happy 18th Birthday Flossy xx

Monday, 2 January 2012

Day One

Today was day one of my IVF treatment and a few things are hitting home. Firstly, what a lot of responsibility this is for someone to take on. Not only is there the injections full of hormones to stimulate the ovaries in order to produce more eggs, but there are the side effects to prepare for.
I feel that I am going to need a sign around my neck for the next few weeks stating: 'Hormonal Nightmare.. handle with care'. I haven't read too much about the side effects - part of me wants to join forums but then I am sure I will convince myself that I have every side effect going, I figure it is best to not know and to ride with it.

Whilst sat in the consultation room, after my scan and the news that I can start, I held the needle in my hand, pinched a good bit of fat on my tummy (which I have been building over Christmas... great excuse to eat more!) and then said 'I don't think I can do it', for a good few moments, I looked at Carl and the nurse and then back to the sharp scary needle and really thought that I couldn't do it but with some encouragement from Carl and praise from the nurse, I slowly stuck the needle into my tummy, clicked the button and gave myself my first injection.

I felt proud of myself and confirmed that I can do this - there isn't really an option of not doing it. It is my only chance. I have no idea what the next few weeks hold and being without Carl is going to make it even more difficult. I am pretty sure there will be plenty of tears; I am an emotional person at the best of times so fill me with hormones and goodness only knows.
I just hope I don't grow a beard and turn into a dragon.