Flossy

I cried when you were born

I had never cried happy tears

never understood

but when I saw you, happiness took over

You were perfect.

As you grew and your personality revealed

the little girl with the curls

with princess tantrums
all sugar and spice

You became Flossy

Growing up was so much fun

shopping, concerts, sleep-overs and treats

being stuck in the rain and wearing my clothes

Stories, games and secrets

You were my sunshine

A performer at school

You tried everything once

So many concerts and shows

your confidence beaming

You made me so proud

Into teens and so we grow

so many changes, life is unfair

a cycle repeats

and I am always there to hold your hand

You are so strong

And now an adult

Beautiful in every way

confident and and caring

we are as close as they come

You are my sister - and I wouldn't change a thing.

Happy 18th Birthday Flossy xx

Day One

Today was day one of my IVF treatment and a few things are hitting home. Firstly, what a lot of responsibility this is for someone to take on. Not only is there the injections full of hormones to stimulate the ovaries in order to produce more eggs, but there are the side effects to prepare for.

I feel that I am going to need a sign around my neck for the next few weeks stating: 'Hormonal Nightmare.. handle with care'. I haven't read too much about the side effects - part of me wants to join forums but then I am sure I will convince myself that I have every side effect going, I figure it is best to not know and to ride with it.

Whilst sat in the consultation room, after my scan and the news that I can start, I held the needle in my hand, pinched a good bit of fat on my tummy (which I have been building over Christmas... great excuse to eat more!) and then said 'I don't think I can do it', for a good few moments, I looked at Carl and the nurse and then back to the sharp scary needle and really thought that I couldn't do it but with some encouragement from Carl and praise from the nurse, I slowly stuck the needle into my tummy, clicked the button and gave myself my first injection.

I felt proud of myself and confirmed that I can do this - there isn't really an option of not doing it. It is my only chance. I have no idea what the next few weeks hold and being without Carl is going to make it even more difficult. I am pretty sure there will be plenty of tears; I am an emotional person at the best of times so fill me with hormones and goodness only knows.

I just hope I don't grow a beard and turn into a dragon.