The Roots of Me

This weekend has been a good one. I have done all the things that I love doing and which make me who I am. Another sign that things are falling back into place and I am getting there. Here is how I have spent the weekend:

• Having Flossy over to stay, the banter and giggles and then being reminded about my individuality or what she describes as 'poor dress sense'.
• Coffee in the sunshine of a gorgeous new coffee house in town where I adore the owners and where I will be spending many Saturdays reading the papers and supping coffee.
• Giving my mum a bunch of flowers and seeing her smile and reminded that she is special.
• Baking cakes for friends to enjoy over a cuppa and a overdue natter.
• Pottering about the house, tidying, faffing, moving things, cleaning and generally being a bit houseproud.
• Spending hours gardening and seeing Spring take over the borders.
• Chinese takeaway with Nanny C and a good natter.

(Please note that 'work' does not feature - I have had a whole weekend off!)

I also did things that a while ago, and even a few weeks ago I wouldn't have been bothered to do. Little things that were overwhelming me, I have cracked on and got it sorted. I changed a plug - the first time I have ever done that and instead of running to someone else and claiming my inability and uselessness, I had a go and did it. And when the flymo started, I might have done a little victory dance.

And then I thought about needing someone else and how things had changed. A few years ago I had someone else in my life who would fix things, cut the grass, tidy the garage, wash cars etc. Now I do it all and although there is still a lot more I could do, I feel quite proud of myself for doing and coping as I do.

I was thinking all this whilst taking a breather in the garden and I thought about how life is like a garden. Sometimes we plant seeds, we water and look after them in hope that they will grow into something beautiful. Sometimes they don't and sometimes they get so far, perhaps a few shoots and then something out of our control affects them and they fade. We never know why, we just accept it and try again, but the next time changing the variables to give it the best possible chance. Sometimes we plant shrubs and perennials which start as pretty blooms to give colour and zest. They are meant to withstand and they are meant to return year on year but not all of them do. Sometimes the environment just isn't good enough to keep them flourishing.

We are forever pruning and cutting back but sometimes not hard enough. We are just taking the tips and ends off which is ok for a while but it can promote growth in the wrong direction with new shoots left, right and centre. We need to not be scared and be more ruthless to cut back hard. Let what is underneath breathe and see the sunlight so that new life can grow from the core.

When all the old and dead has gone from the previous season and new shoots start to encourage colour, we all feel lighter, brighter and can enjoy the space much better. Every season we learn something new and there is always tendering that can be done.

A bounce in my step

Spring is finally here following a winter that seemed to last forever, with it’s never ending bitter cold winds, snow and gloominess of non-descript skies.

This time of year gives me itchy feet and a feeling to spread my wings and set about planning adventures. I don’t know whether it is because the sight of daffodils cheering roadside verges or new shoots on trees and the first sightings bluebells in the woods, or perhaps just the light lasting that little bit longer every day, but I feel the need to grow and to make the most of everything.

So, I am getting on cracking through ‘to do’ lists and making plans to meet new people, catch up with old friends, travel the country for weekends away with London and Manchester already on the cards and generally keeping busy and making the most of everything.

I am also thinking about signing up for the CIM Postgraduate diploma in Marketing which will provide new opportunities and give some more weight behind some choices I know I will have to make soon. It will be hard and I am not sure I will be able to cope with the workload on top of working the hours I do, but I would like to think if I put my mind to it, I can and I will.

Two years ago I felt a similar feeling and made an on the spot decision whilst driving to my mum’s that I would go to Australia. This morning I talked to my friend in OZ who I spent three weeks with on the mini adventure, and I decided that I would be heading back to hers this Christmas for a second round of fun and discovery.

I am all about discovery at the moment and it feels refreshing and like the start of something more.