I recently found a tape that I have been looking for years. It was in the most obvious place, next to my Cd's (where else would a cassette tape be!) I am not sure when it appeared there, but I know that it hasn't always been sat on top 'Dance Hits of the 90's'.
I think it decided to show itself because I am at a time when I need to hear the voice that is recorded on it. The voice belongs to a clairvoyant. A women that I saw in Glastonbury a few years back. I remember that she wore black leather trousers and chewed gum incessantly, chewing and slurping because she put too much in her mouth. I think she said it helped her to 'tune in'.
At the time of seeing her, I was searching for answers from a world I didn't understand and which i thought I wanted to be involved in. I know now that it was just because of the woman that I went with and her beliefs. I don't think of that world now, I know that if I want answers then I have to make choices and that my life is molded by those decisions that I make.
I remember coming out of the 40 minutes with her and saying 'she doesn't know what she is talking about' and 'there is nothing wrong with my life and relationship'. She did know. Five years on and almost everything she said has happened. I listened to the tape in bed the other night, I was in constant goose bumps at the little things that she said that have come true; that I would have problems with my stomach, that I would receive a ruby ring and that my relationship would end but not before I have given it my all and pushed myself to exhaustion. I guess this helps me to justify those choices and decisions.
I am still quite skeptical about it but it is the details that makes the hair on the back of my neck stand on end. I am wondering now, whether I should see another to see what the next five years will bring.