Ever feel that you are a hamster in a wheel which is being spun at such a ridiculous speed that your little tiny legs just won't keep up?
I do. I am stuck in that wheel which the Great Hand of Life is spinning; I am sure, just to have a laugh at my expense. I am not always running at the same speed, sometimes the Hand of Life is kind and will gently keep me at a stroll but only for long enough for me to catch my breath.
Work is insane. The two Directors have locked horns like two stags fighting over a female, only in this instance, the female is the company. There is no communication just straight at it. A split is inevitable and we all feel it and know that it is going on. At least with us all being aware there is always someone filling the uncomfortable silences. 'Anyone watch that show last night, you know the one with that funny guy', 'Cup of tea.... biscuit?' The only problem is that the decision makers rely more and more on myself. I should be a Director. I have to cover the sales campaigns for three publications between October and December, potentially another two as well as writing all the copy and carrying all the marketing activities and brand building for the company. Not much to ask hey! I could have said no, and continued to tell them that they should source a Sales Executive from an agency, but I see this as a chance to prove Director number two wrong.
Life is persistent. I have too many choices and decisions to be made. I know what I want to do and I know it is the right thing for me, but, what of the people I leave behind?
Some say I am distancing myself, I say not. These choices are going round my head like a die on a roulette wheel, it will stop soon, but where will it rest, black or red and can I handle either option.